Slogans, that's what we need.

 31/07/2012

Dear Marie,

It has come to my attention that I may have inadvertently sent you an email while I was visiting Amsterdam last week. Unfortunately I sent this from an internet cafe, and have little recollection of the contents. I vaguely remember something about deserting a sinking ship, but apart from that, my memory is somewhat hazy. I think if I sent you any new ideas while away, it might be best if we just forgot about those, and disregard that email. I hope this will not jeopardise my chances for the TRAM GENERAL MANAGER job?

On my return from Amsterdam I passed through Edinburgh Airport. I noticed the excellent new 'WORTH WAITING FOR - Edinburgh Trams' sign we have erected there. This was a fantastic idea, sure to bring both visitors and residents of Edinburgh 'on-side' with the project, despite the eternal disruption and impact on their holidays/livelihoods for the past half decade. There is NO WAY that this sign was a bad idea, and the person responsible should DEFINITELY be commended for being so in-tune with public opinion.

However, something was niggling at the back of my mind as I made my way home on the bus, Marie. I was sure I'd heard the 'Worth Waiting For' slogan before. Was it Heinz Tomato Ketchup? (No, that one was 'Good things come to those who wait', which might be pushing credibility a bit too far for Edinburgh Trams).

I racked my brains for 2 hours as my bus crawled its way along York Place Marie, but eventually I had it! It was Carlsberg's late-1980s advert "Ice Cold in Alex - Worth waiting for!" It did occur to me that this product association is perhaps a dangerous one for us to make, as there is always the danger some wag might suggest a better link could have been 'Edinburgh Trams - They'll drive us all to drink'.

Nevertheless, the whole idea of using successful advertising slogans to popularise the Edinburgh Trams got me thinking. What other successful advertising campaigns could we perhaps 'pay homage to' in our publicity?

I've put together an illustration of some of the slogans I think might be suitable for Edinburgh Trams, obviously I've had to change some of them to fit, but you will get the idea. Hopefully we can piggy-back on some of these slogans and some of their popularity might rub off on Edinburgh Trams?

Of course we shouldn't limit ourselves to billboards and posters, as we approach the launch date, I envisage a barrage of television advertising as well. I'm thinking for that perhaps we could have a short advertisement showing the planning, build and implementation of the Edinburgh Trams project over the years.

I suggest we get the PG Tips monkeys to play the parts of Edinburgh Councillors and members of the TIE board, and then jump to the modern day with the Cadbury Gorilla driving a tram down Princes Street playing the drums.

I am fully prepared to dress up in the Gorilla suit, Marie. How many of the other candidates for the TRAM GENERAL MANAGER job would be willing to do that? I think this is one of the questions you should pose to the other candidates at interview.

Something like that is going to have the sort of VISUAL IMPACT we need, Marie. And EVERYONE loves monkeys - it will distract our critics - "Hey! Look at the funny monkeys! Look at the funny monkeys!".

Trust me, works every time.

I look forward to discussing these ideas further at interview.

Aldo Broon
Tram General Manager, and willing Gorilla Impersonator of the FUTURE