Friday 28 August 2015

Edinburgh Trams in fake confectionery shocker!


NEWS JUST IN

Tram chiefs have come under fire for spending £80,000 on a General Manager who was made of icing sugar, a Freedom of Information Request has revealed.

The previous Edinburgh Trams General Manager, Tom Norris, was allegedly constructed from a metal or plastic framework, covered in marzipan and icing sugar, we have learned.

"We originally struggled to find a suitable fall-guy for the Trams", explained our council source, "so the decision was made to construct a confectionery stand-in."

"To start with we went for a giant gingerbread man, but to be honest, that was fooling no-one, and besides, someone left it unattended in the City Chambers and Councillor Steve Cardownie had its leg off for his elevenses, so we resorted to plan B - the icing sugar Tom Norris"

The sugary General Manager played a vital role in the first year of tram operations, but it's believed a foolhardy decision to send him on a non air-conditioned tram in the summer months resulted in his unfortunate meltdown.

"Yes, he's sadly no longer with us", confirmed a spokesperson, "but we've almost got the mess off the seats now. Unfortunately we don't currently have sufficient funds to order an icing replacement, however we are currently in talks with Greggs, to see of there is anything we can do with their surplus of Macaroni pies"